When gossip ‘degenerates beyond the bounds of propriety and good taste’ it becomes

  Gossip! Yes gossip is universal. In some language, it may have an outright negative connotation but in English, it basically means ‘idle talk’, chat about trivial things or matter. When moderated and kind, ‘casual talk’ may serve to exchange useful information as a means of updating one’s knowledge. The whole neighborhood may grow gossipy with who got married, pregnant, died, or it may just be a humorous chi-chat devoid of malicious intent.

  However, idle talk more often than not, degenerates beyond the bounds of property and good taste. Facts get embellish, exaggerated or deliberately distorted. Humiliation is made the source of humor. Privacy is violated, confidence betrayed and reputations injured or ruined. Condemnation takes the place of commendation, murmuring and fault finding are extolled. The end result is like the mud thrown on a clean piece of white cloth. It does not stick but it leaves a dirty and sometimes permanent stain behind.

  Gossip has been blamed for sleepless nights, headache and indigestion. Certainly, it must have caused you some personal anguish at one time or the other that is someone must at some times have tried getting a knife between your shoulder blades. Negative gossip is almost universally frowned upon. Among the Indians in the United States, gossiping about someone is classified with lying and stealing. Among the Yoruba of Nigeria, the tale bearer is detested and often avoided. Indeed, throughout history, measures have been taken to curb this ‘deadly’ disease. Between the 15th and 18th centuries, the ducking stool was popularly used in England and Germany and later in the United States.

  The gossip was tied to a chair and repeatedly ducked in water. In modern times, the war against gossiping has also been fought. Rumor control centers have been established to even respond to rumors that were potentially harmful to government activities. Law have been passed to curb gossip. Nicknames have been given to those who peddle the trade. Ever heard of ‘Amebo’!

  Such efforts notwithstanding, gossip survives. It is alive and flourishing. Gossip is everywhere. There is neighborhood gossip, office gossip, party gossip, family gossip and funnily enough, religious gossip. Gossip transcends all cultures, race and civilizations, and it has flourished and it is still flourishing at every level of the society. Gossip is deeply a part of human nature. Yet gossip is not inherently evil. There is a positive side to casual talk. Knowing where to draw harmless and harmful gossip is the key to avoiding victimizing others and being victim yourself.